Day Eighteen: To chase freedom.
Focus Word - Fly
Song Prompt - Nightingale by: Norah Jones
Nightingale
Sing us a song
Of a love that once belonged
Nightingale
Tell me your tale
Was your journey far too long?
Does it seem like I'm looking for an answer To a question I can't ask
I don't know which way the feather falls Or if i should blow it to the left
Nightingale
Sing us a song
Of a love that once belonged
Nightingale
Tell me your tale
Was your journey far too long?
All the voices that are spinnin' around me Trying to tell me what to say
Can I fly right behind you
And you can take me away
All the voices that are spinnin' around me Trying to tell me what to say
So Can I fly right behind you
And you can take me away
Dear Apu
Hi.... I know I should have written yesterday. I know a small message of I am fine does not suffice. I am being an idiot ignoring everyone's calls . But I do not know. I was afraid if I told you everything you will be angry. You will be worried. I was just trying to help myself at being self-sufficient. But I guess it would never be so. I know you do not understand anything about what I am saying.
You remember when I was a kid I always used to worry that I do not belong anywhere. I was always trying to find the answer to the questions. But of course there was no answer till I learned to believe that I am special. I mean I walk awkwardly,I speak with the spending miles per second but still I am better because I am honest to myself. I do not wear the cloak of hypocrisy. I am again fumbling in the sea of questions.
It seems like more I try to justify everything the more I am tossed by these waves. First I lost myself with Ishaan, then I blundered with my engagement and now I am again falling after Ishaan.
Ishaan is just supposed to be my friend but he occupies every waking thought if mine.He gas entered my heart again. He is trying to revive those long dead dreams again. Today he took me to a Cliff near sea called "Black Ghost".
I wont be doing justice to the place if I say it wad beautiful. There are no words to describe its grandeur and loveliness It was my dream place and there was a Prince there as well who wants to slay my dragon. He kissed me, Apu. And I was a willing party . I yielded to his every touch, I forgot everything -every question about his betrayal, every thought about our future and every notion about the past. It was just the moment and Ishaan occupying me.
Now you will be wondering why the well did I do it? The answer is because I was helpless-helpless before my feelings.
I ran away from there. Can somebody answer why can't I overcome my feelings for him? Why is his touch sufficient ti melt me ? Why do I always fall for the wrong guys? Why is ny fate playing with me-taunting me with dreams which can never be converted into realities?
Answers, answers -I need them for past. I need them for future. But I do not know where they are. Or if i will ever find them. I am like a bird trying ti find a sky but every time I reach at the edge I am at the sane place. I am so tires. I am like a rubber band, being pulled in all the direction.
I do nor know what I am writing. But U needed to write it. I an sure you will be able to sort out the above mess. Call you soon.
Yours ever-confused friend
Trish.
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